


temporary bliss

by shipsarelove



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 07:01:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18132473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipsarelove/pseuds/shipsarelove
Summary: Eva kisses her. In one of their fights, she kisses Lucia, as it is over sooner than it started really, and then she spends way too long avoiding to be in the same room as the blonde.Until, Lucia has had enough.aka in which you fall in love first and she falls in love last





	temporary bliss

**Author's Note:**

> These two deserved better, and they deserved to explore all that tension between them. 
> 
> This is set somewhere after the show ends, obviously ignoring some very, very poor choices such as killing a very beloved character.

It’s one day when Guille and Renata are there, Eva is still yelling from across the room.  
 Lucia has about had it, but she would like to be alone for this.  
 “I’m really sorry for asking this, but can I have a moment with your sister?”   
Guille nods understandingly as he gets up, Renata leaves with a hand squeezing her forearm, and a smile that says “good luck”.  
Lucia takes a deep breath, Eva is getting angrier and louder, she only tunes in at  
“- well, of course, make them leave! God forbid they hear the truth.”

Lucia approaches with the same apprehension that you do to a feral cat. Something not big enough to be deadly, but mean enough to hurt.   
She inhales again. She thinks this is as ready as she is going to be. She sees something change in Eva’s face, as if she just realized that Guille and Renata leaving would mean they would be alone in a room that is not small, but not big enough either. She has fallen silent and almost frozen except from her eyes that don't wanna settle anywhere, especially, not on Lucia. Yeah, Lucia thinks, just like a feral cat.  
  
“Eva” is almost whispered. “What is it?”   
  
She asks and it would be a resigned sound, if not for the fact that she is searching for Eva’s eyes, even tilting her head a little to make sure she gets them. Part of her wants to reach out, but she doesn't want to awake Eva’s flight response. Is not like that have that easy physical contact, they never really knew how to touch each other without being angry at each other. Even that kiss was angry, Lucia thinks. But also, that is not  _all_ it was.

When Eva finds her eyes, Lucia finds that fire again. She wonders if it has always been there, if it has always made her sort of dizzy.  
  
“What is it, is that I am tired of you making all these decisions, without consulting me when we agreed that this would-“ Eva starts low enough, but just as usual her voice raises and her tone becomes sharper.  
  
Lucia raises her hand and only then does she understand, even walking forward, she is still keeping Eva at arm’s length. She doesn’t know why it also feels like a lie.  
When it makes contact with Eva’s shoulder, Eva stops. Freezes again. Lucia really wishes she knew how they can do more than freeze, than flight, than fight.  
  
“Eva.” She says again. More firm this time. The way that Eva is pleading her with those green eyes should be enough to let it go. Only that Lucia has given her plenty of time. And Lucia is tired. Tired of wondering if the next time Eva raises her voice she will also take the few steps towards her and kiss her again. Just because ... why?  
  
“Why?”  
  
Eva looks at her confused. Like she wasn’t riding the same train of thoughts. Lucia just looks at her, waiting for her to catch up.  
  
“I don’t know.”   
  
It’s honest. Lucia thinks. As honest as someone who is trying very hard to deny their feelings can be.  
  
“You do know.”  
  
Lucia removes her hand from Eva’s shoulder and watches Eva’s eyes follow it when it falls against her thigh.  
   
“You do know. But I am not your toy, I cannot stay here and wonder-” She stops herself. “I will not, stay here and ask myself questions that even you don’t want to answer, no matter the fact that you are the reason why I have them.”  
  
She thinks she sees Eva’s body bow a little when she takes a step back, as if to maintain the same distance. Closeness.  
  
“When you are ready, to give me an answer, chances are I will not be there to hear it. This is the first and last time we are having this conversation.” Lucia is tired. She needs to know but also, this feels unfair. That she has given so much thought and meaning to something that might as well have been one of Eva’s tantrums gone too far.  
  
“Well, that settles it. Okay then.” To her ears it sounds more of a question than a statement, even as she tries to put as much finality to it as she can, tries to hide the disappointment. She sees the change in Eva’s eyes, that might have been a success.  
  
“No.” Eva says “No, it’s not okay.”  
  
It’s Lucia’s turn to be taken aback.   
  
“What-“  
   
“No, it is not. Because ... chances are, I will want to do it, again.”  
  
Lucia doesn’t know what to say to that. Still. She doesn’t know how to react to the emotion in Eva’s voice. She doesn’t even know what it is. She doesn’t know this Eva at all. Which is ironic because if you asked her one month ago she'd say she knew all there is to know about Evangelina Carvajal, write a three page long essay on her, thinking she has everything, and that everything is right.  
  
She almost sighs with relief when Eva continues.  
  
“But not now. Even the first time, it’s not like I planned it, I just wanted-”  
  
She watches Eva gulp. Is so foreign to see her like this, she almost doesn’t think Eva. She thinks a girl. She thinks a woman, a few years younger than her, that is maybe, just maybe, as confused as her about this.  
  
“Eva.” she says again. She has lost count of the times she has mentioned her name tonight. It feels like more than she has in all the time they’ve known each other. This time feels heavier than all of those times combined. She knows Eva must feel it settle in her bones, and is too much for her to carry, because the first time in weeks, Eva takes a step, but it looks more like tumbling forward.  
  
Lucia feels her heart beat faster. Not at the proximity, they have been closer in the past, tension or not, but at the meaning of it.  
  
She almost says Eva’s name again. Almost.  
  
Because when she raises her eyes to Eva’s she feels the sound die in her throat.  
  
“I still want. But not now.” Eva says again, resolute, and Lucia doesn’t know if she’s trying to reassure her, or herself.   
  
She is about to ask why not, and it catches her by surprise, where is that feeling coming from? She has no time to ponder that because Eva is taking more steps forward, more to the side, and they are different from the usual stomping. They are slow, light, as if Eva is waiting for her to do something.  
  
She’ll beat herself afterwards for not reaching out and grabbing Eva’s hand when it almost brushes against hers, as Eva slows as much as she can without actually stopping, and walks right past her.

* * *

It’s embarrassing to say that is yet another week after that confrontation, that admission, that Eva finds the courage to enter a room that has Lucia in it. But it is what it is and Eva can’t afford to think about it right now, can’t even afford the thought of Lucia’s existence.   
  
She thinks she saw Silvina so it was safe to walk in but of course is just when Silvina is getting dismissed. The older woman passes her and smiles politely and Eva hopes the one she gives back doesn’t look like a grimace.   
  
Lucia is sitting down and Eva feels bad how that makes her feel better, that false sense of superiority. Like her position changes anything in the way she carries herself, spine straight and legs crossed. Gently demanding attention, how do you even demand gently? Eva doesn’t get it, but Lucia seems to be able to pull it off.  
  
“Eva” she says almost surprised as she raises her head and Eva hates how cordial it sounds. How empty. Hates that she misses the emotion of a week ago.   
  
“I am not here to fight.” Eva says, and not even she knows where it came from.  
  
Lucia seems to be more relieved than confused, she replies.  
  
“That is good. Are you here to talk about the meeting?” And before Eva has a chance to answer. “Because of course it would be understandable-“  
  
“No. I ...” Lucia listens as if her words matter. It messes with Eva’s head more than anything. “I didn’t think we would be alone, and I am on my way out. I thought it would be better to wait for Alirio here, than in my room.”  
  
It seems to satisfy her and when the blonde uncrosses her legs as if to stand, Eva hears herself saying.  
  
“But since you breached the subject, I have every right to be in that meeting.” and she knows it’s a cheap shot but she needs to practice being in the same room with her again, without suffocating.  
  
Lucia doesn’t move, as if she hadn't expected the interruption. Which sounds more of an invitation to stay, really.  
  
“I know.” She says then in a calm voice and when she rotates her body to face Eva, it feels like she means so much more.  
  
“What?” Eva tries really heard not to furrow her brows, fails.  
  
“I agree that you should be in the meeting.”  And while Lucia stands still except for her mouth forming the words, Eva feels her voice closer, as if she has taken a few steps, as if she means something else.  
  
“Good.” Raising her head and the fact that Lucia has always been shorter but Eva has always felt the need to make herself larger anyway, tugs at the back of her mind. “Because I will be.”  
  
It sounds angry to her own ears, and Eva wishes she could do this. Wishes she could know how to walk the line between anger and softness, wishes she knew there is far more than a line between them.  
  
“Eva …” Part of Eva wishes for Alirio to come right this second, another part wants to know.  
  
Part of Eva wishes it would be that easy to turn the anger into something else. Something burning and cathartic that would consume them both. Part of Eva wants to  _listen._  
  
“We have to talk, don’t you think?” The way Lucia’s eyes round up and lose their sharpness, the way that  _soft_  tone is not foreign to her, but every time Eva has heard it has either been directed to Valentina or Guillermo.  
  
“No …” veo de que, she wants to say. But something stops her, if she could just- “I am not ready. We talked about this.”  
  
“No, no we did not talk about this. You kissed me and I made you a question and you evaded it, just as you are trying to do know. That is not talking.” Firm and steady, with her voice growing sharper and louder with each word.   
  
Good, that’s familiar. Eva can work with that.  
  
“Yes it is talking, just because you didn’t hear what you wanted to hear, doesn’t make it less talking. And is not like I owe you anything!!” She hears her own voice, yes, this is definitely a well known territory.  
  
“And how do you know what I want to hear?” Eva really _hates_  when she lowers her voice but raises her eyebrow like that, all confident that she has already won. Eva can’t let her have this one.  
  
“You know what. You are right. I don’t know what you want to hear but I do know what I wish to say.”  
  
Again that eyebrow, expectant now. Lucia crosses her arms and raises her chin, and Eva wishes the defiance would just give her the usual want to spit something mean, not the fire it ignites somewhere low in her belly.  
  
“This ends here. It was a mistake from my part.” Eva says with finality and thinks she mistakes the emotion in Lucia’s face, it’s gone in a split second, her features going back to the usual poker face she gives her.  
  
“Very well. I am glad we agree.” Lucia stands as if she will leave and Eva yet again ignores the rage at the fact that even at a few centimeters shorter, Lucia can seem so demanding with her presence. But alas, some thing never change. She also ignores the fact that she might like that.

Alirio comes in just then, and Eva welcomes the feeling of relief, hopes it shows on her face. She doesn’t bother to say goodbye, just walks outside without looking back. She thinks she hears Lucia sit back down.

**Author's Note:**

> An actual plot is coming, as it is some scenes with our favorite girls, hence why they are tagged.
> 
> come find me at iswearfealtytolexa on tumblr


End file.
